Test 2 : Interpersonal Communication Flashcards

- Investing our time in pursuing communication

- Sharing joint activities

- Engaging in deeper reciprocated self-disclosure

The premise that all of us have inclusion, affection, and control needs that we try to meet through our relationships, although our need for each of these varies in degree from person to person

Our desire to be in the company. of other people

Our desire to love and be loved

Our desire to influence the events and people around us and to be influenced by others

The premise that we continue to develop a relationship as long as we feel that its reward outweighs its cost and we perceive that what we get from a particular relationship is more than we would be able to get if we invested elsewhere

Negative outcomes to a relationship, including the time and energy we spend developing a relationship and the negative experiences the may arise, like hurt feelings, conflict episodes, jealousy

Positive outcomes to a relationship, including basic relationship needs for affection, control, and inclusion met

Developing any relationship occurs over time and through the self disclosure process. As we dispose more and learn that our partner is trustworthy we deepen our relationship.

1. Self-disclose the kind of information that you want others to disclose to you

2. Self-disclose information appropriate for the type of relationship you have

3. Self-disclose more intimate information only when you believe the disclosure represents and acceptable risk

4. Be sensitizer to your partners ability to absorb your disclosure

5. Continue intimate self-disclosure only when it is reciprocated

When you do X (behavior)

Y happens (consequences)

and I feel Z (feelings)

- Don't attack the persons character

- Don't use "always" and "never" words

- Don't assume you know the other persons motivations

- Do not call the other person names

- Attending (paying attention)

- Understanding

- Remembering

1. Get physically and mentally ready to pay attention

2. Make the shift from speaker to listener a complete one

3. Stay tuned in

1. Identify the speakers purpose and key points

2. Interpret nonverbal cues

3. Ask clarifying questions to get further information or to remove uncertainty from information already received

4. Paraphrase what you hear. Verify your understanding of a message by putting it into your own words and sharing it with the speaker

- Be specific

- Be sincere

- Limit questions or explain that you have several

- Put the "burden of ignorance" on your own shoulders, taking the blame for your not knowing

Conveys your understudying of the denotative meaning of a verbal message

Conveys your understanding of the emotional meaning behind a speaking verbal message

1. Our personal listening style causes us to filter out parts of the message

2. Stress

3. Passive listening

4. Selective remembering

5. The placement of information in the message

The tendency to remember information that we heard first over what we heard in the middle

The tendency to remember information that we heard last over what we heard in the middle

1. Repeat what was said

2. Create mnemonics

3. Take notes

A learning technique that associates a special word or short statement with new and longer information

1. Focus on your partner

2. Engage in appropriate turn taking

3. Maintain conversational coherence - relationships your comments to previous ones

4. Protect Privacy

5. Engage in ethical dialouge

6. Choose appropriate humor

A conversational environment in which recipients feel comfortable disclosing their problems and emotions

1. Emphasize your desire and availability to help

2. Promise and keep confidentiality

3. Convey acceptance and affiliation - help them save face - communicate that you care no matter what

4. Convey warmth and caring nonverbally

5. Promote elaboration with questions and brief responses

1. Acknowledge the negative emotion

2. Legitimate the experience of the emotion

3. Encourage discussion of the emotion

1. Passive Approach

2. Aggressive Approach

3. Assertive Approach

- Concealing your feelings rather than voicing your rights and expectations others

- Sometimes appropriate, sometimes harmful, limits closeness

- Verbal Aggression (attacks)

- Argumentativeness (defending/attacking reasoning in a respectful manner)

- Flaming (used through social media)

- Passive Aggressive Behavior (indirectly)

Influencing others without damaging relationships (honest and not hostile)

- Principle of Negative reciprocity

- Serial Arguing

- Counter Blaming

- Cross Complaining

- Demand Withdrawal

- Mutual Hostility

Repaying negative treatments with negative treatment

Partners argue about the same issue multiple times

You blame your partner for causing or forcing you to do what they accused you of doing (shifting responsibility)

Partners trader unrelated criticisms

One partner consistently demands while other consistently withdrawals

Partners trade increasingly louder verbal abuse

Acknowledge responsibility, express regret or remorse, request forgiveness. Try to make up for the problem.

- Mutual respect

- Mutual long-term goals

- Comfortable level of closeness

- Demonstrate positivity

- Express assurance

- Continue self-disclosure

- Demonstrate understanding

- Talk about the relationship

- Integrate social networks

- Share tasks