Marriage & Family Final - class material Flashcards
Four parts of the Template of Attraction
1. Looks
2. Chemistry
3. Interests
4. Values/Beliefs
Four stages of the behavioral model of attraction.
1. Sampling and estimation (attraction, both conscious and unconscious)
2. Bargaining (sharing of information, physical attraction) (where dating normally ends)
3. Commitment (best deal of all the people you could be with)
4. Institutionalization (formalizing the commitment)
Four parts of the Template of Attraction
1. Looks
2. Chemistry
3. Values/Beliefs
4. Interests
Two new life phases recently added to lifespan development
Pre-Commitment - emerging adulthood; 20s-early 30s
Extended Adulthood - early 60s-80s
In premarital counseling, the three general courtship relationship patterns a counselor will see.
Progressively up
Progressively down
Roller coaster
Three goals of premarital counseling
- Clarify and examine the relationship
- Provide information and training
- Set the stage to help later on.
Three possible outcomes of premarital counseling.
- Marriage
- Delay with more counseling
- Decision not to marry
Areas to cover in premarital counseling.
- Expectations
- Communications
- Conflict resolution
- Children and Parenting
- Sexuality
- Roles
- Decision Making
- Work
- Extended Family
- Finances
Three books Dr. Don recommends to premarital couples.
- Gottman – Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work
- Howard and Markman – Fighting for Your Marriage
- Harville Hendrix – Getting the Love You Want
Online self-report rating survey used in premarital counseling.
PREPARE inventory
Five reasons people marry.
- Sexual Access
- Provide Emotional Satisfaction
- To Build a Life Together
- Division of Labor
- Bear and Rear Children
Two types of relationships with regard to partner similarity.
- Symmetrical relationships: birds of a feather
- Complementary relationships: opposites attract
Reason a person may continually attract people who aren't good for them.
internal core wound
Six stages of a romantic relationship with someone who has a personality disorder.
- Fast startup: they discern and satisfy your motivational set
- Isolation: all needs centered around partner
- Emergence: seeing them flip out when triggered
- Rollercoaster: they use periodic reinforcement to keep you hooked
- Exhaustion: the normal one is traumatized to the point of being worn out.
- Ending and Recycling: inability to end the relationship in one clean stroke.
Advantages of online dating.
- Expands social contacts – we’re too isolated these days
- Allows women to initiate contact as well as men
- Forces the person to describe who they are and what they are looking for
- Erases propinquity
Disadvantages of online dating
- You have to armor up: rejection is standard
- Time consuming – like another job
- There are profiles that are absolutely honest/real and those that are absolutely fabricated/crazy, and you never know.
- Excessive self-absorption is not unusual.
Two types of attachment styles encountered in online dating.
Independent
Anxious
In online dating, two phenomena seen in people with an independent attachment style.
- Wanting to keep the relationship online and never meet.
- Push-pull relationship.
Four things that negate a loving relationship.
- Judgmentalism
- Low energy output
- Disordered behavior
- Persistent irritating habits
Two phases of divorce.
- Decision-making
- Restructuring
Five sub-phases of divorce that occur simultaneously within the restructuring phase.
- Legal
- Emotional
- Financial/Economic
- Community/Social
- Parental